My Mother
I can only speak in my own words about My Mother, Marsha Stewart as I knew her. Everyone has a different story of a person and that's what's amazing about memories, they come from all different angles of one person's life. How Amazing is that?
You always hear people say how strong someone was and that's what my mother was, Strong. This woman had been through so much in her life and still stood with the best of the best like a champ untattered. Even when life got to her, when life had her down on her knees or out of her own mind she remained with that strong poised self-control that she embodied acting as if nothing was wrong with her. She beat the worst that life had to offer her. She faced those addictions in the face and told them she was done. My Mother still struggled with alcohol up until her death but she fought that fight with every ounce of blood she had within her. She slowly changed her ways enough to function and be an intergral part of her grand-children's life. I'd like to think we were that motivation for her to be better. You don't rise from the dark into the light overnight and she didn't but in time she did. My Mother kicked the devil off her back and put it back into the ground where it belonged. I remember when I was pregnant and she was in rehab, she was so happy to have a grandchild coming to her that was close as my brother's kids were not and when I went into labor, there she was with me, holding my hand, wiping the sweat off my face, yelling at me to push; sober. What a moment no time can take away from my many memories of her.
As a kid, I remember her as a woman who would give us anything we needed, never did she let us go without. She stressed herself and put all of her effort as a parent to the max for us. She had confidence in herself, she was particular about her hair and nails being just the way she liked them. My mother carried natural beauty never wearing make-up only a nice rub down on her face of vaseline. In every purse you can find a little jar of vaseline, lol. She loved her jewelry, wearing her many rings and hooped earrings, always hooped earrings and mostly silver. I don't think she fancied gold as much as she did silver.
She was a purse woman but not crazy about it though. Mom would find these cute little treasures of a purse at a thrift store and they'd be in pristine condition, she was lucky with finding those purses.
My Mother to me was a simple woman like myself (I know where I got it from) in the sense that the things that she liked to do wasn't all out landish and extravagant. She enjoyed watching those Lifetime movies for sure. Recently she got into doing puzzles. .walking into her apartment was like a puzzle factory, lol they were everywhere and she and Johnnie (she got him into it) would be sitting at the counter working on them together then gluing them onto cardboard to make into a picture. She loved the color red and decorated her kitchen to the MAX in apples! I didn't think it was possible to find some of the things she had made into apple shapes; A paper towel holder, sink stopper (yes a sink stopper!!), Bitten-into Apple hooks, Apple clock, curtains, towels, Salt and Pepper Shakers, soap dispenser, apple shaped spoons, a carved sign that read COUNTRY in red apple shaped words, magnets but every time I went to her house she never had an actual apple for me to eat. LOL ironic huh? My Mother was all into those apples and Owls. I realized how many Owls I had seen all over her apartment and again another connection between her and I were found because I too love Owls and have no idea why. Like Mother, Like Daughter prehaps : )
When I was pregnant back in 02, I taught her how to crochet and another hobby was born. This kept her busy while in rehab. She made us all blankets, mine, I picked out the colors, was black, yellow and orange, it was so huge that she never got to finish it. However two years ago, I took the blanket and cut it in half then sewed the two pieces together to form a full sized blanket (that's how long across it was) It's my favorite blanket, it's so warm : )
When I was a kid, My Mother introduced me to Soap Operas and that became our thing. I remember sitting and watching Young & The Restless with her which carried on into my life because I watched them religiously as a teen and on. We loved to watch Heat of The Night together as well as Murder She Wrote and good old Matlock as I remember now my love for Chuck Norris is from us watching Walker texas Ranger together. I loved those moments of us just watching televison together eating snacks.
My mother and I did not have the best relationship or one you could define as close but I am so much like her still. It's crazy how much of her is in my personality. The way I raise my son and react to him is how she was to us (to me), my anger, my temper, the way I view things, my observationist ways, it's all Marsha. I could never grasp how a child could be so much like a parent that she rarely spent time with but here I am, a walking, talking Marsha. The most important attribute I take from My Mother is her stregnth. This was one strong woman and I am just as she was. Often I get criticized for being so "strong minded" and I ignore the comments that I should adjust my attitude or not appear to be so independent as that scares people off or intimidates them because as I grew older I realized why I am this way. This strength that I have I saw in My Mother growing up. When she thought I wasn't looking, I was. I always paid attention to her and how she was and being the youngest I spent the most time with her at home so I saw all of who she was and that aura she had made its way into who I would be as a young woman and mother. I am blessed to have this strength that I acquired through My Mother. I forever share this part of her and that makes me happy. My determination, My drive to push forward, My need and crave of knowledge, My independent nature. . .all of Me is all because of MY MOTHER. How grateful I am for that yet regretful that I never had the chance to tell her.
With all the Love I have in me. . . .I Love You Mommy!!!!! We shall continue to make you proud of us. You have no worries up there but to sit back with your parents and watch us do what you raised us to do. . .You taught us more than you think. I am Proud to be your daughter. . . I am so lucky to have had the privilege to learn from you.
Rest In Peace Mom, don't be up there causing a ruckus you hear me Marsha!!! : )
